[00:00:00] Most people think personal branding is
[00:00:01] about becoming more visible online. So
[00:00:04] what do you think the real goal of
[00:00:06] personal branding should be?
[00:00:07] >> I think that uh for personal branding
[00:00:09] the main thing is clarity. What's really
[00:00:12] important is the clarity gives you if
[00:00:14] you dive deep in knowing who you are and
[00:00:16] how people interact with you and what
[00:00:18] happens is you're going to be able to
[00:00:19] have clarity, purpose, direction, focus
[00:00:22] on the path you're going to take, right?
[00:00:23] And if you understand that the impact,
[00:00:25] the standing out is even better. So for
[00:00:28] me like that is the biggest aspect of
[00:00:29] personal brand that a lot of people
[00:00:31] forget about. [music]
[00:00:38] >> Find your [music] tribe where truth
[00:00:40] can't hide.
[00:00:44] >> So today's guest is Bobby Umar and he's
[00:00:48] a 5X TEDex speaker, a two-time LinkedIn
[00:00:51] top voice and was named Inc. Magazine's
[00:00:54] top 100 leadership speakers. That's
[00:00:56] pretty impressive. President of I'm
[00:00:58] gonna say it wrong. Raleigh.
[00:01:01] >> Ray Allen.
[00:01:02] >> Ray Ray Allen. [laughter]
[00:01:04] >> There's a famous basketball player named
[00:01:06] Ray Allen. So that's kind of how I like
[00:01:08] to
[00:01:08] >> Oh, Ray. Oh, and you said it together.
[00:01:10] Now that you said Ray Allen, it clicked.
[00:01:13] I gotcha. CEO of Discover Your Personal
[00:01:16] Brand and founder of Thought Leadership
[00:01:18] Branding Club. It's a business growth
[00:01:20] community helping entrepreneurs turn
[00:01:22] visibility into authority,
[00:01:23] relationships, and revenue. So today
[00:01:26] we're just going to chat about all of
[00:01:27] that. And uh you weren't always a a uh
[00:01:31] speaking kind of person or coach, were
[00:01:33] you?
[00:01:34] >> Uh no,
[00:01:35] >> this is this is somewhat I'm not going
[00:01:37] to say new because you've been doing it
[00:01:39] quite some time now.
[00:01:40] >> Yeah. So what I what
[00:01:41] >> but prior to that I because I remember
[00:01:43] we connected on LinkedIn.
[00:01:44] >> What I like to say is that um you know I
[00:01:48] had four careers. So I had a career in
[00:01:50] uh four engineering, brand marketing,
[00:01:52] teaching and performing arts. Those are
[00:01:53] four careers I had. But then about 20
[00:01:55] years ago, I launched my speaking
[00:01:57] career. So speaking was the main thing I
[00:01:59] did. And then a started after I started
[00:02:02] doing that. Um eventually I got my first
[00:02:05] TEDx talk. I've done five TEDex talks
[00:02:07] and I've rejected four four other TEDx
[00:02:08] talks. But when I got the first one, I
[00:02:10] started to really get more high level,
[00:02:11] more pro high-profile. And things
[00:02:13] started I started traveling around the
[00:02:14] world, which is great. But one of the
[00:02:16] things I started realizing is that, you
[00:02:18] know, I'm not a speaker. And people are
[00:02:20] like, you know, Bobby, they're like,
[00:02:20] Bobby, write a book. Okay, so I wrote a
[00:02:22] book. But what I realized was is that
[00:02:24] you're not a speaker. I'm an expert in
[00:02:25] topics and then that manifests in
[00:02:27] speaking and coaching and books and
[00:02:29] whatever and content whatever. So I
[00:02:31] started focusing more on my expertise
[00:02:34] which was at the time networking soft
[00:02:36] skill leadership. Eventually transition
[00:02:38] into personal branding and then I
[00:02:39] started talking about digital marketing
[00:02:41] and influence because I built a strong
[00:02:43] um digital platform particularly
[00:02:46] initially on Twitter first. I had a half
[00:02:48] a million followers there, but then I
[00:02:49] started building that up on LinkedIn and
[00:02:51] Instagram and other platforms, too. So,
[00:02:53] that's kind of how it's been, but I've
[00:02:55] been speaking for the last 20 plus
[00:02:57] years.
[00:02:57] >> So, the Twitter, is that still going for
[00:02:59] you?
[00:02:59] >> Sure. I mean, uh, you know, certainly
[00:03:02] the powers [clears throat] that be on
[00:03:03] that platform have made it far less
[00:03:06] useful and have even taken away my many
[00:03:09] of my followers. But, uh, for the most
[00:03:12] part, no, it's still very effective
[00:03:14] because I've done a good job of curating
[00:03:15] it, right? A lot of people, oh, it's
[00:03:16] toxic. control like well it is if you if
[00:03:19] you did it poorly but if you know how to
[00:03:21] nurture the right audience on any
[00:03:23] platform uh you can create something
[00:03:25] that's really really valid and useful.
[00:03:28] >> I didn't get a current number. Where you
[00:03:29] at on LinkedIn?
[00:03:30] >> LinkedIn at I think I'm at 56,000
[00:03:32] followers.
[00:03:33] >> Yeah. And the thing that's crazy about
[00:03:35] LinkedIn I've I've noticed some of the
[00:03:37] people I was connected with that are
[00:03:38] like in the million plus followers,
[00:03:41] their engagement has really dropped
[00:03:43] recently. What how has your engagement
[00:03:45] been? Did you notice a change in the
[00:03:47] algorithm? Are you constantly having to
[00:03:49] rework how you're doing LinkedIn to keep
[00:03:51] the engagement up?
[00:03:52] >> Yeah, look, as somebody who's been a
[00:03:53] social media guy for a long time across
[00:03:56] many platforms, you know, being mindful
[00:03:58] of the waves of algorithms and how they
[00:04:00] work and change and shift the advent of
[00:04:03] AI slop, you know, you have to
[00:04:05] understand how how to
[00:04:06] >> slop.
[00:04:07] >> Yeah, you have to understand how it all
[00:04:08] works and how to navigate it. Now, at
[00:04:09] the same time, there's a certain point
[00:04:11] in which you it's good to know the ways.
[00:04:13] at a certain point where you're like you
[00:04:14] don't want to move on to something else
[00:04:15] or you don't care so much. So yes, my
[00:04:18] you know my engagement stuff has uh you
[00:04:20] know it always goes down every time
[00:04:22] something new happens and then there's a
[00:04:24] new shiny object you do that and
[00:04:25] engagement goes up but for the most part
[00:04:27] yeah I mean generally speaking it's down
[00:04:28] but look the magic of LinkedIn and other
[00:04:32] platforms is not necessarily in the
[00:04:36] the impressions of the content. The
[00:04:38] content's there to build awareness, to
[00:04:40] showcase your expertise, to start
[00:04:41] conversations, but the real magic
[00:04:43] happens in the DMs and the
[00:04:45] conversations. DMing people, getting on
[00:04:47] calls, that's kind of doing live streams
[00:04:50] or podcasts, that's kind of where the
[00:04:51] magic is. And the communities, that's
[00:04:53] where the magic is for the most part.
[00:04:55] Um, so even when my content like you
[00:04:57] know I've I've had pieces like in the
[00:04:59] last like last month or two just
[00:05:01] absolute terrible like wow okay I
[00:05:04] thought they wanted videos and I have a
[00:05:06] video post like you know two people like
[00:05:07] it like what's going on whereas back in
[00:05:10] the old days you hundreds of people
[00:05:11] right so but but you know it keeps
[00:05:14] changing but you know you have to learn
[00:05:15] how to adjust it adjust it but a certain
[00:05:17] point like putting the content out there
[00:05:19] is still important to me uh but starting
[00:05:21] the conversations is is even far more
[00:05:23] important. Yeah, I I have to agree with
[00:05:25] you 100%. I I have clients and I tell
[00:05:27] them, I go, you just have to prove to
[00:05:29] the world that you have a pulse. So, you
[00:05:31] want to keep posting. You don't want to
[00:05:32] just stop. Even if it only gets one or
[00:05:34] two likes, it doesn't really matter.
[00:05:36] It's for those client, you know, or for
[00:05:38] those convers. So, you have a
[00:05:39] conversation, somebody goes, "Well, let
[00:05:40] me go look up Bobby, see what he's got
[00:05:42] going on." I don't think people really
[00:05:43] care that much anymore if if it has two
[00:05:45] likes or 2,000.
[00:05:47] >> Right.
[00:05:47] >> I think they just want to see that
[00:05:49] you're active.
[00:05:49] >> Yeah. I don't think I don't think
[00:05:50] >> that you're still doing things.
[00:05:51] >> Exactly. I mean, it's that it's that
[00:05:53] triangle, right? There's your profile,
[00:05:54] which if they look at your profile, they
[00:05:56] check out your content and maybe message
[00:05:57] you. Or you message them, they check out
[00:06:00] your profile, they check out your
[00:06:01] content, or content, they like the
[00:06:03] content, they check out your profile,
[00:06:04] then maybe they message you. So, like,
[00:06:06] for the most part, if they go to your
[00:06:08] profile,
[00:06:08] >> I like that. I like that.
[00:06:09] >> I mean, they they all kind of go
[00:06:11] together, right? So, like e wherever
[00:06:13] they wherever the touch point is,
[00:06:14] they're going to do look at the other
[00:06:16] things potentially. And so,
[00:06:17] >> and if you don't have it there,
[00:06:19] >> so they go to your profile and they they
[00:06:21] see you posting some stuff. If you say,
[00:06:23] "Hey, here's Bobby talking about AI and
[00:06:24] Claude. Here's Bobby talking about
[00:06:25] keynote speak and vulnerable
[00:06:26] storytelling. Oh, he seems interesting."
[00:06:28] Yeah. They're not diving into, "Oh,
[00:06:30] well, this one only has two lengths and
[00:06:31] I guess he's not an important person."
[00:06:33] No, I think they see they see my face,
[00:06:35] they see the banner, they see the
[00:06:36] headline of five time speaker, two time
[00:06:39] LinkedIn top voice, and they're like,
[00:06:40] "Oh, he seems like a" and then and then
[00:06:43] they watch a video of me being, you
[00:06:44] know, say personable. uh this seems like
[00:06:46] a seems like a good guy and that's
[00:06:48] that's all you need for the most part,
[00:06:50] >> right? I noticed I've noticed also that
[00:06:52] you posted uh quite a bit about your
[00:06:53] family, too. Is that kind of a twist
[00:06:56] that you've done recently?
[00:06:57] >> No, it's been something like in the last
[00:07:00] >> I
[00:07:00] >> not like in the last few weeks or
[00:07:02] months, I'm seeing it seemed like when I
[00:07:04] first started following you, I didn't
[00:07:06] see a lot of that [clears throat]
[00:07:07] >> in
[00:07:08] >> and I'd say in the last like five or six
[00:07:09] years, I saw a definitely a uptick.
[00:07:11] >> Yeah. A long time ago I didn't do as
[00:07:13] much personal stuff and then I think you
[00:07:15] know I started sharing because I became
[00:07:17] more personal and vulnerable on
[00:07:18] platforms like Facebook and Twitter and
[00:07:21] Instagram I started to and then I think
[00:07:23] what happened on LinkedIn was two things
[00:07:25] happened. One was somebody I think it
[00:07:27] was swishwami had he he tagged me on a
[00:07:29] post saying hey # let's get honest
[00:07:31] campaign and he talked about his mental
[00:07:33] health challenges with um his stutter
[00:07:37] and his anxiety and I was like wow okay
[00:07:39] so I so I decided
[00:07:40] >> that's very vulnerable
[00:07:42] >> and so so yeah he asked me to share
[00:07:43] something vulnerable and so I started
[00:07:45] talking about um I I went I went full
[00:07:48] into it binging disorder which is what I
[00:07:51] have struggled with diabetes body image
[00:07:53] my whole life I talked about being
[00:07:54] diagnosed What's binging disorder? What
[00:07:56] does that mean? Being out of control
[00:07:57] with my food and uh and I explained how
[00:08:01] much I could possibly eat even and it
[00:08:03] would make you sick. And uh just talking
[00:08:06] about that like you know like that that
[00:08:07] was the start. And then of course you
[00:08:09] know I started talk being a parent start
[00:08:12] I love talking about my kids so I talk
[00:08:13] about my kids their birthdays. I started
[00:08:15] talk about my mother's day my mom my
[00:08:17] wife my mother-in-law and it just now
[00:08:19] whenever there's a birthday anniversary
[00:08:20] or something I will definitely talk
[00:08:22] about it. And then I think the third
[00:08:23] thing that that threw me was um politics
[00:08:25] and social activism. When George Floyd
[00:08:28] happened, I decided to talk about it.
[00:08:30] And after that, I decided, you know
[00:08:31] what, like it's like I don't do it all
[00:08:33] the time, but you know, I think that for
[00:08:34] the most part, my general rule is 8020.
[00:08:36] 80% of your content is typically
[00:08:38] targeted on brand who you want to
[00:08:40] target. The other 20% is either personal
[00:08:42] or experimental or whatever you want.
[00:08:44] You shouldn't be you shouldn't be
[00:08:46] confined to just only posting about one
[00:08:48] thing. And I think that by mixing with
[00:08:50] other things, it makes you more
[00:08:51] interesting. In fact, you know, like
[00:08:53] while we're talking now, I did do a a
[00:08:55] very vulnerable post. I don't really do
[00:08:56] vulnerable posts that often, maybe once
[00:08:58] every couple of months, but I put
[00:09:00] together a really vulnerable post just a
[00:09:01] few days ago. Um, and you know, and and
[00:09:04] obviously getting tons of engagement,
[00:09:06] which typically it does. It sparks great
[00:09:09] conversation. And the most important
[00:09:11] reason I do it is because uh people have
[00:09:14] told me time and time again, whether
[00:09:15] they tell me immediately or even 5 years
[00:09:17] after they they've seen my content, it's
[00:09:19] nice to know that I wasn't alone. And so
[00:09:22] for me, I'm I'm I'm happy to share that.
[00:09:24] Yeah,
[00:09:24] >> I I think so. I think that's the you
[00:09:26] know, I I know I got probably some
[00:09:28] unfollows or blocks because I I forgot
[00:09:30] what I posted.
[00:09:32] >> Somebody just either they commented or
[00:09:34] they sent me a DM like that seems like
[00:09:36] something for Facebook. And I was just
[00:09:37] like, "Yeah, but this is real and this
[00:09:39] is what's happening."
[00:09:40] >> Said by someone who doesn't understand
[00:09:41] social media because the truth is, you
[00:09:44] know, I used to talk about fertility
[00:09:45] issues where at work with my boss. I've
[00:09:48] tal I've talked about binging disorder
[00:09:50] where at a business conference with
[00:09:51] other colleagues because look, when we
[00:09:53] go in the workplace, we talk about our
[00:09:56] personal lives. We talk about what's
[00:09:57] going on. We talk about our favorite
[00:09:58] movie or favorite restaurant. This idea
[00:10:00] of just Facebook. No, Facebook. And then
[00:10:02] Facebook a place where people are
[00:10:03] talking about business, right? I mean,
[00:10:04] Facebook did great with business groups,
[00:10:06] right? The best groups are on LinkedIn.
[00:10:08] They're on Facebook for business. And
[00:10:11] so, so, you know, like uh this idea that
[00:10:14] people have, they just don't understand
[00:10:16] how social media works. Social media is
[00:10:18] media and it's social and even in the
[00:10:20] workplace, you're still going to talk
[00:10:21] about personal stuff and that's entirely
[00:10:23] okay. It's more about how you do it and
[00:10:26] what's the point of doing it,
[00:10:27] >> right? I mean, I just think it I guess
[00:10:29] kind of like what I said before, just
[00:10:31] makes you seem really real. you're a
[00:10:32] real person. And then so talk about um
[00:10:35] you you did this TEDex talk. What
[00:10:38] created that desire to do a TEDex talk
[00:10:41] and what was the I'm sorry I didn't
[00:10:42] watch it. What was the TEDex talk about?
[00:10:44] >> Well, I mean I've done five, but the
[00:10:46] first one happened someone told me, "Hey
[00:10:48] Bobby, I love work." He was he was
[00:10:50] actually an intern of mine and he say,
[00:10:52] "Bobby, I love working with you. I'm
[00:10:54] doing a TED talk. Can you come speak?"
[00:10:56] And I was like, "What's a TED talk? I
[00:10:57] have no idea what that And so I looked
[00:10:59] it up and I was like, "Wow, all the
[00:11:01] biggest scientists, philosophers,
[00:11:03] business leaders, political leaders, all
[00:11:06] these people around the world were were
[00:11:08] doing these talks." I was like, "Wow,
[00:11:09] this is this is quite impressive. I I
[00:11:11] should I should really work on this, do
[00:11:13] a good job." And so I agreed. And I'll
[00:11:17] tell you like that first TEDex talk was
[00:11:19] the most stressful talk I've ever had in
[00:11:20] my life. I saw the branding opportunity.
[00:11:23] I saw the power of the video, the the
[00:11:25] power of having a shorter talk than your
[00:11:27] normal hourlong keynote is like less
[00:11:29] than 18 minutes, right? They gave me 14
[00:11:30] minutes and I was like, "Okay, I really
[00:11:32] got to make this land." I I rehearsed
[00:11:35] that thing like 30 times. Every single
[00:11:37] time something went wrong in my in my
[00:11:38] head
[00:11:39] >> and uh and when I when I did it, it went
[00:11:42] great. I was relieved. [laughter]
[00:11:44] But
[00:11:45] >> but it was, you know, it was a really
[00:11:46] big deal and I was like, "This is fant."
[00:11:48] And after that um man everything
[00:11:50] happened like you know it was that that
[00:11:52] year and and of course I did a good job
[00:11:54] of leveraging and a lot of people do
[00:11:55] TEDex talks or they launch a book and
[00:11:57] they do they don't leverage it. So I
[00:11:58] leveraged I was like big on leveraging
[00:11:59] and I was already big on social media at
[00:12:01] that time. I was like you know let me
[00:12:02] leverage this thing. So I was able to
[00:12:04] convert that into increasing my my uh
[00:12:07] keynote feed by two and a half times uh
[00:12:09] to getting 40% more gigs that year. And
[00:12:11] then people started asking me hey Bobby
[00:12:13] uh you know do you want to do you want
[00:12:15] to do coaching and consulting? I'm like,
[00:12:16] "Oh, okay. They want me to come into
[00:12:17] their company and and coach and consult.
[00:12:19] That's different. Sure. I hadn't even
[00:12:21] thought about that." And that's also
[00:12:23] where I started shifting my perspective
[00:12:25] of not being just a speaker, but an
[00:12:26] expert in something that I could be that
[00:12:29] could manifest itself in different
[00:12:30] different ways. So, that was a great u
[00:12:32] moving that that that changed my life.
[00:12:35] >> Really?
[00:12:35] >> Yeah.
[00:12:36] >> It really I mean 40% that's a that's a
[00:12:38] pretty big jump, isn't it?
[00:12:39] >> Yeah. Yeah. So, and and getting to
[00:12:41] travel around the world and being known
[00:12:43] and getting opportunities like Yeah.
[00:12:45] That was f within two years I had done
[00:12:47] four TEDex talks. So I was a four-time
[00:12:49] TED tech speaker for a long time. I only
[00:12:51] did the fifth TEDex talk because someone
[00:12:53] said, "Hey, Bobby, there's a there's one
[00:12:54] you should pitch." I'm like, so I did
[00:12:56] and I did it and it was it was great.
[00:12:58] >> So we're all So these weren't all in uh
[00:13:00] You're originally Are you originally
[00:13:02] from Toronto or that's where you
[00:13:04] currently? I live in
[00:13:05] >> That's what I had in my mind.
[00:13:05] >> Yeah, I mean I grew up on the east coast
[00:13:07] of Canada, but I' i've been in Toronto
[00:13:08] for most of my well my entire kids'
[00:13:10] lives and most of my life now. Is it was
[00:13:13] this the Toronto TEDex or was it a
[00:13:15] >> uh there there's Well, they're all
[00:13:18] around the various places. So, all five
[00:13:20] of them were different places, but the
[00:13:21] first one Oh, wow.
[00:13:22] >> The first one was in London, Ontario,
[00:13:24] the University of Western Ontario.
[00:13:26] >> How do you address like you're coaching
[00:13:28] people and how to get on on uh online
[00:13:30] and be real? How much do you deal with
[00:13:33] folks that you're talking to about like
[00:13:35] imposttor syndrome?
[00:13:36] >> Well,
[00:13:37] >> like how how big of a part does that
[00:13:38] play in a lot of this stuff? In the
[00:13:40] beginning of all the things I've done
[00:13:42] whether I was teaching people about
[00:13:43] personal branding teaching my speaker
[00:13:45] mastermind program teaching about how to
[00:13:47] land a tetics talk and even now with TB
[00:13:49] club with the you know small business
[00:13:50] owners and what they're trying to do and
[00:13:52] grow mindset is the primary thing we
[00:13:55] talk about it comes up all the time so
[00:13:56] impos imposter syndrome
[00:13:58] >> every single time there's something
[00:14:00] going on there and I mean even in even
[00:14:03] the vulnerable even the personal
[00:14:04] vulnerable stuff I mean me sharing me
[00:14:06] talking about you know diabetes and body
[00:14:07] image and issues with my with my liver
[00:14:10] uh just a couple of days ago. I mean
[00:14:12] people think impost syndrome like you
[00:14:14] know oh who am I to share this and you
[00:14:16] know people are probably going to be
[00:14:17] embarrassed to to work with me but no
[00:14:18] like people feel impost syndrome and the
[00:14:21] mindset stuff all the time. It comes up
[00:14:23] all the time. So learning and in that
[00:14:25] post I was definitely talk about a
[00:14:26] mindset piece that was challenging
[00:14:29] because no one's perfect at mindset
[00:14:32] despite people who think they are. I I
[00:14:35] I've I've even seen many mindset coaches
[00:14:37] who clearly have mindset issues, but but
[00:14:40] they
[00:14:40] >> they have mindset issues themselves.
[00:14:43] They coach others.
[00:14:43] >> Yeah. I just find that really funny um
[00:14:45] when I talk to them, but yeah. So, I
[00:14:47] think
[00:14:47] >> Well, it's kind of hard to look in a
[00:14:48] mirror, right?
[00:14:49] >> Yeah. We don't we don't know, right? So,
[00:14:50] I think I think the the imposter thing
[00:14:52] comes up in every single speak thing.
[00:14:55] Speaking, networking, TEDex talks,
[00:14:57] content creation, relationships, going
[00:14:59] on a podcast, doing a video, like it's
[00:15:02] everywhere.
[00:15:03] >> Yeah. I even had a I was actually kind
[00:15:05] of happy about it. I don't know what
[00:15:07] they intended to be, but I had uh my
[00:15:11] first podcasting was where I did it for
[00:15:14] me was uh last year. In fact, I'm going
[00:15:16] to the same event Saturday at this Miami
[00:15:19] International Fitness Expo and it was
[00:15:21] super loud in there. Now, this year
[00:15:22] we're going with the same gear, but we
[00:15:25] have a lot more knowledge, so the audio
[00:15:27] is going to be massively cleaned up and
[00:15:29] we won't have the audio issues that we
[00:15:31] had last year. But it was interesting
[00:15:33] like somebody said, "What the f are you
[00:15:34] trying to do at a I think it was a DM
[00:15:37] like what do you think you're trying to
[00:15:38] do? You why are you trying to do a
[00:15:40] podcast there? It's we can't hear you."
[00:15:42] And I'm like, "I don't know. Why not?"
[00:15:45] [laughter] That was my That was my But I
[00:15:47] think I answered him back and I go, "Oh,
[00:15:49] thanks. My first hater. I guess I'm
[00:15:50] successful." [laughter]
[00:15:52] >> Yeah.
[00:15:52] >> How many? So this landed my next one. I
[00:15:55] do you get a lot of haters?
[00:15:56] >> Sure.
[00:15:57] >> Cuz you're out there quite a bit. Yeah.
[00:15:59] And now you're you're putting a lot of
[00:16:00] personal stuff out there.
[00:16:01] >> Yeah. I think that um I would say uh the
[00:16:03] haters uh yeah there's always been
[00:16:05] haters across every platform and this
[00:16:08] there's always people who again I
[00:16:09] naively think they don't understand
[00:16:10] social media haters are everywhere they
[00:16:13] just start they started off on websites
[00:16:15] and then they were prolific on Twitter
[00:16:17] and then they say oh you know Twitter is
[00:16:18] a cesspool but you know Facebook,
[00:16:20] Instagram and LinkedIn have haters and
[00:16:22] I've dealt with haters on those
[00:16:23] platforms and then all of a sudden
[00:16:25] threads came oh threads and blue sky
[00:16:27] it's great there's no hate here. No, no,
[00:16:29] just wait. It It doesn't [laughter]
[00:16:31] like it. It's coming. It's gonna come.
[00:16:33] Like, and so now I have haters on those
[00:16:35] platforms, too. But I think um it
[00:16:38] definitely got it was really bad. Um
[00:16:40] well, it it really it really got bad in
[00:16:41] 2015, 2016 for for a variety of reasons.
[00:16:44] as you probably understand politically.
[00:16:46] But we start people started becoming
[00:16:48] doubling down on just you know lying and
[00:16:52] saying whatever you want and being you
[00:16:54] know very very um I don't know like uh
[00:16:58] dis disingenuous untruthful and you know
[00:17:02] just and and being just say whatever you
[00:17:04] want without consequence and uh it's and
[00:17:07] so that started a lot in 2016 I think
[00:17:10] now like you know um and so it was a lot
[00:17:13] it was a lot back then now because I've
[00:17:15] been more mindful of it. I'm curating
[00:17:17] things better. So after after 2016 and
[00:17:20] 2020, I was kind of off Twitter. I was
[00:17:22] like, I want to take a break because it
[00:17:23] was it was just too much. And then as I
[00:17:25] started building on other platforms and
[00:17:27] you see it now, I recognize that it's a
[00:17:30] it's also something you have to be
[00:17:32] mindful of. So if you're going to do a a
[00:17:33] very controversial post, you have to be
[00:17:35] willing to emotionally get into it. Like
[00:17:37] I I did a post, I think uh maybe two
[00:17:39] years ago. It was specifically about
[00:17:40] about pride pride month, which is in
[00:17:43] June. And I and I and I was specifically
[00:17:45] targeting people who were uh I would say
[00:17:49] people from my from my culture and and
[00:17:52] religion plus other people who are
[00:17:53] religious. And I talked and I talked
[00:17:55] about you know values of love and
[00:17:57] forgiveness. But I also talked about how
[00:17:59] we need to support everyone every one of
[00:18:00] us who are marginalized. And I got a lot
[00:18:03] of a lot of hate from uh from religious
[00:18:07] folks and on on LinkedIn mind you. And
[00:18:12] you know the qu
[00:18:13] >> DMs or public comments
[00:18:14] >> public comments.
[00:18:16] >> Wow.
[00:18:16] >> I still I got DMs too.
[00:18:17] >> Pretty bold.
[00:18:18] >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. And
[00:18:20] so the question but but again do I want
[00:18:22] to go and engage these people because
[00:18:24] that's an emotional investment I have to
[00:18:26] be willing to take and that's on any
[00:18:28] platform and but but because I posted
[00:18:30] it, I knew I would get stuff. So I was
[00:18:32] ready to take it on. And so you go in
[00:18:34] and decide, okay, what am I going to
[00:18:35] delete? What am I going to reply to?
[00:18:37] What am I going to block? You have to
[00:18:38] figure that stuff out. And that's
[00:18:39] exactly what I did. And so, you know,
[00:18:42] but I I think that I I find because I've
[00:18:44] curated that the hate is less for me.
[00:18:47] So, I don't see as much like on Twitter,
[00:18:49] I don't see very much any anymore. Uh I
[00:18:51] find the biggest hate or the biggest
[00:18:53] trolling is the ones who go into DMs.
[00:18:56] I'm a big believer that you as soon as
[00:18:58] you go if you go into a DM unsolicited,
[00:19:02] that's cyber bully. That's trolling
[00:19:03] because you're you you don't want to be
[00:19:05] public. You want to go after that
[00:19:06] person, say whatever the hell you want,
[00:19:08] and they're going to feel trapped in
[00:19:10] terms of how to respond or not respond
[00:19:11] or ignore, but it hurts more than when
[00:19:14] it's public. Public is because like,
[00:19:16] what kind of fool what foolish thing are
[00:19:17] you saying here? That's crazy. Um, but
[00:19:19] when they when they go in there and then
[00:19:21] DMs, I make it really clear. Don't don't
[00:19:22] invite people to DMs on the particularly
[00:19:24] sensitive topics. Don't ever give DM
[00:19:26] advice unsolicited. You know, like for
[00:19:29] me, that's that's how you become a bully
[00:19:31] or troll. And this even happens among
[00:19:33] colleagues and friends. And there have
[00:19:34] been colleagues on LinkedIn and friends
[00:19:36] on Facebook who have done that and I
[00:19:38] think it uh you know it's it's harmful
[00:19:40] to everybody
[00:19:41] >> right
[00:19:41] >> but it's less now I think for me I think
[00:19:44] there are people who are definitely
[00:19:45] trolling more I agree but for me
[00:19:46] personally it's actually less because
[00:19:49] I've done a good job of curating it and
[00:19:51] I've learned better how to respond.
[00:19:53] >> Can you explain more about curating?
[00:19:55] What does that mean for you?
[00:19:56] >> You curate your audience, right? So you
[00:19:58] curate your audience in terms of who you
[00:20:02] follow, who you engage, who the
[00:20:05] algorithm will show you, and then also
[00:20:07] you also curate your audience in terms
[00:20:08] of how you respond to things and how you
[00:20:11] don't respond to things.
[00:20:13] >> Because
[00:20:14] >> I had a guest Yeah. I had a guest the
[00:20:16] other day and somebody was talking about
[00:20:19] like all the crap on social media.
[00:20:21] >> Yeah.
[00:20:22] >> And he's like, "Well, let me take a look
[00:20:23] and see who you're following."
[00:20:25] >> Right. the algorithm is only going to
[00:20:26] give you what you're asking for and how
[00:20:29] you ask for it is who you're following
[00:20:31] and then you get more because they were
[00:20:34] I guess what is it called on Twitter
[00:20:36] something like for you or found for you
[00:20:38] or
[00:20:39] >> well I mean uh yeah yeah they might
[00:20:42] >> is there something
[00:20:43] >> they might have suggested follows which
[00:20:44] is also what you have on
[00:20:45] >> suggested well not just but just even
[00:20:47] suggested uh content
[00:20:49] >> and and this person was explaining to
[00:20:51] this guest of mine you know how I get
[00:20:52] all this you know there's all this junk
[00:20:54] out there and he's like, "Well, you're
[00:20:56] getting that because of who you're
[00:20:58] following." So, that's a good tip on
[00:20:59] your curating. Like, you need to go
[00:21:01] through and pair down who you're
[00:21:02] following to make sure you're following
[00:21:03] the right people, giving you the right
[00:21:05] >> um content
[00:21:07] >> because that they're the algorithm is
[00:21:08] only going to look at who you're
[00:21:09] following and who you're engaging with.
[00:21:11] >> Yeah.
[00:21:11] >> And then give you more of that.
[00:21:13] >> Yeah. The the other thing the other
[00:21:14] thing happens too is like when someone
[00:21:15] sends you a let's say a tweet, let's use
[00:21:17] a tweet and they reply to something and
[00:21:19] they and it sounds it's it's pretty it's
[00:21:21] bad. I will then retweet it publicly,
[00:21:24] tag them and say, "Hey, based on what
[00:21:26] you said, here's what it doesn't make
[00:21:27] sense to me. One, two, three." And I
[00:21:29] make it so obvious and plain that if
[00:21:32] they want to double down on, they're
[00:21:34] going to look silly. [laughter] And so
[00:21:36] so they so they don't and so they'll
[00:21:38] either unfollow me or they'll stop
[00:21:39] commenting because that's also me curing
[00:21:42] my audience by sending them a message.
[00:21:44] >> I like that a lot. Works very well.
[00:21:46] Yeah. So you just we retweet it out
[00:21:49] >> and then say, "Hey, can you give me some
[00:21:51] clarity on points one, two?"
[00:21:52] >> Well, no, no. More specifically, I'll
[00:21:54] say why what they're saying makes no
[00:21:55] sense in a polite way. Like, you know,
[00:21:58] based on what you said, here's what
[00:22:00] people that they are going to perceive.
[00:22:01] one, two, three, and I'll point out what
[00:22:04] why it's all wrong and how absolutely
[00:22:05] silly it is, but in a very nice way, and
[00:22:07] they they stop engaging.
[00:22:09] >> Yeah. Because there's no need to go down
[00:22:11] into the make it nasty, right? No, not
[00:22:13] really. I don't see any reason for that.
[00:22:15] >> Um especially when I mean, I don't know
[00:22:18] why people don't seem to haven't figured
[00:22:19] this out yet, but it's
[00:22:21] >> once it's out there.
[00:22:22] >> Yeah,
[00:22:22] >> it's out there. Well, well, well, one my
[00:22:25] my pinned tweet on Twitter that I have
[00:22:27] at the top of my profile, it's the same
[00:22:29] I've had for years, which is basically
[00:22:31] divisiveness creates more divisiveness,
[00:22:33] right? You you can't, you know, there's
[00:22:36] no point putting people down, right? So,
[00:22:39] what you should do is just try to engage
[00:22:41] in a nice kind empathetic way or a
[00:22:43] curious way or an exploratory way and
[00:22:46] that's it. So, for me, uh, empathy is
[00:22:48] the way to go and understanding is a way
[00:22:50] to go and don't put people down. Don't
[00:22:53] be divisive because that just breeds
[00:22:54] more divisiveness. So for me, I won't do
[00:22:56] that. I I'll call things out and I'll
[00:22:58] certainly point it out, but I'm not
[00:23:00] going to do it in in a manner that
[00:23:02] attacks that person personally or or
[00:23:04] things like that.
[00:23:04] >> Right. It's the behavior, not the person
[00:23:06] themselves.
[00:23:07] >> What do you think builds trust the
[00:23:09] fastest online? Is it the expertise, the
[00:23:12] story test, storytelling, the
[00:23:14] consistency, or vulnerability? Because
[00:23:16] you've you've kind of cover all of that.
[00:23:20] You're very consistent. I think you
[00:23:22] pretty good storyteller. You've got a
[00:23:25] wealth of expertise and then you've also
[00:23:27] shared vulnerability. I mean, is there
[00:23:29] is it all four or is it what what what
[00:23:32] do you think works best?
[00:23:34] >> Well, to answer your question, what
[00:23:35] builds authority and trust the best? Uh,
[00:23:40] generally speaking, it is speaking.
[00:23:43] So, speaking is the best way versus say
[00:23:46] a blog, a book, you know, an imagebased
[00:23:49] content piece. Um, so being able to hear
[00:23:52] my voice, my tone, my personality that
[00:23:55] whether it's on a podcast, a video, on a
[00:23:58] panel, keynote, workshop, whatever, even
[00:24:01] content, TEDex, that's one thing. The
[00:24:04] second piece is the vulnerable piece,
[00:24:08] which is, you know, Bernie, my my first
[00:24:09] TEDex talk was about the five C's of
[00:24:11] connection. I cited Bernie Brown's
[00:24:13] study, which said that vulnerability is
[00:24:15] a deep connector. And so if you're a
[00:24:18] able to do that that so you if you
[00:24:21] combine vulnerability with speaking and
[00:24:24] storytelling storytelling also helps too
[00:24:26] but I think that just being able to
[00:24:27] speak speak your truth speak your mind
[00:24:30] just talking the people are talking on
[00:24:32] Tik Tok and talking on Instagram and
[00:24:33] talking on YouTube they're just talking
[00:24:35] now how they do it also makes a big
[00:24:38] difference but I think the vulnerability
[00:24:39] piece if you want to build greater trust
[00:24:42] goes a long way but if you want to build
[00:24:43] trust when it comes to expertise well
[00:24:45] then again speaking and doing it
[00:24:47] consistently in a in a manner that
[00:24:49] reaches people. Storytelling is a great
[00:24:50] way to reach people. Facts are a great
[00:24:52] way to reach people. Dynamic energy and
[00:24:54] personality is a great way to reach
[00:24:56] people. But I think that if you had to
[00:24:58] pick one thing, I always say I say TEDex
[00:25:01] talks because TEDex talks is speaking,
[00:25:04] it's storytelling, it's content, and
[00:25:07] it's very human. And so if you want to
[00:25:09] 10x your authority and your trust
[00:25:12] quickly, TEDx is the best way to go
[00:25:14] versus anything else. all the other
[00:25:15] things there's a longer it's a longer
[00:25:17] game networking is a is like a longer
[00:25:19] play um content strategy is a longer
[00:25:22] play a book is a longer a longer
[00:25:24] timeline but speaking and particularly
[00:25:26] TEDex you know one of the things I tell
[00:25:29] people is that you know TEDex is
[00:25:31] basically 40 50 hours of work over a 3
[00:25:35] to nmonth time period to 100x your brand
[00:25:38] trust and authority very quickly whereas
[00:25:40] everything else takes way longer a book
[00:25:42] can take longer than 40 50 hours and the
[00:25:44] timeline for some of these things like
[00:25:46] content strategy can be a year, a year
[00:25:47] and a half to two years before you start
[00:25:48] to getting the results you want. So
[00:25:50] that's why I say doing TEDex talks and
[00:25:52] speaking is the best way to go.
[00:25:53] >> Interesting. I just know I got I was
[00:25:55] requested to speak at an event down in
[00:25:57] Miami University of Miami. It was a
[00:25:59] interesting experience. I basically
[00:26:01] froze. I completely what do you call it?
[00:26:03] I just crashed and burned.
[00:26:04] >> Yeah. Yeah. No, freezing is a common
[00:26:06] thing.
[00:26:07] >> And what was interesting is that um the
[00:26:10] guy who had requested me to speak, he's
[00:26:11] like, "Dude, what happened?" He goes,
[00:26:12] "You just need to get up there and
[00:26:14] talk." He goes, "I know you know this
[00:26:15] stuff." It's like, "You weren't talking
[00:26:17] about anything you didn't." It's like,
[00:26:19] "You know this." And I was like, "I
[00:26:21] don't know." He goes, "Next time, just
[00:26:23] put your notes down. Don't bring any
[00:26:24] notes."
[00:26:25] >> Yeah.
[00:26:25] >> Yeah. [laughter]
[00:26:26] >> So, we had me do it again like in an
[00:26:28] interview style and it worked out a lot
[00:26:30] better. Um,
[00:26:32] just So, is that part of what you kind
[00:26:35] of help people with so they don't get up
[00:26:36] there and just freeze?
[00:26:38] >> I I I would say for the
[00:26:39] >> You said it takes like 40 50 hours. Is
[00:26:41] that 4050 hours working with you?
[00:26:42] >> That's 40 50 40 50 hours of of their
[00:26:45] time to then land the TEDx talk. Now
[00:26:47] what I would say in terms of who I work
[00:26:49] with is like look speaking is a is a is
[00:26:52] a a journey right from A to Z A to Z.
[00:26:55] ABC would be people who don't know how
[00:26:57] to speak have no confidence and you know
[00:26:59] they sit there sit at their desk and
[00:27:00] they don't know how to speak up. Then
[00:27:02] there's you know people later on who are
[00:27:04] trying to get out and speak more maybe
[00:27:05] do a presentation at work and they're
[00:27:07] struggling with that. I don't work with
[00:27:08] those people. I work with people who are
[00:27:10] seasoned executives, business leaders
[00:27:12] who are now at the point where they've
[00:27:14] had 20 plus years experience. They know
[00:27:16] what they like. They know what they want
[00:27:17] to talk about. They want a TEDx talk.
[00:27:18] They want to do more speaking. They want
[00:27:20] to build authority. I will this is PQRS
[00:27:23] of that journey. I will take these
[00:27:25] people and show them how to get clear on
[00:27:27] their brand, figure out what they want
[00:27:28] to speak about and then elevate their
[00:27:30] authority and brand by getting them TEDx
[00:27:32] talk, building their, you know, building
[00:27:33] their uh digital presence, building
[00:27:35] their storytelling and getting them to
[00:27:37] that next level if they want to build
[00:27:38] speaking or business. So, uh, for me, I
[00:27:40] I look more for established speakers or
[00:27:42] at least established professionals
[00:27:44] because you look once you've had 20
[00:27:45] years experience in your industry,
[00:27:47] you're probably pretty confident talking
[00:27:49] about the stuff in your industry. It's
[00:27:51] not like you you don't you don't need a
[00:27:53] speaker coach unless you're extremely
[00:27:54] awkward or or something like that. But
[00:27:56] that that's rare. So I'm not really
[00:27:58] working with those folks. Although you
[00:27:59] know most of my stuff will teach them
[00:28:00] how to do those things. I mean all the
[00:28:02] things I talk about storytelling or how
[00:28:04] to be confident. Like the biggest thing
[00:28:06] about confidence which I teach people is
[00:28:07] say look your confidence wins their
[00:28:10] confidence. If I'm confidently talking
[00:28:13] about if I talk about, you know, Widget
[00:28:15] X and how it's going to save save your
[00:28:16] life and I do it with confidence, you'll
[00:28:18] start to believe me even if I'm
[00:28:20] completely making it up. But like, you
[00:28:22] know, if you if you can understand how
[00:28:23] to be confidently talking about your
[00:28:24] stuff, I think that that's fine. Now,
[00:28:26] the truth is the brain farts happen on
[00:28:28] stage and that's a normal uh common
[00:28:30] thing. I mean, I've certainly had it on
[00:28:32] stage like when I do musicals and you
[00:28:34] just kind of have to roll with it. You
[00:28:36] smile and you just keep going and that's
[00:28:38] fine. But I I also think owning it goes
[00:28:41] along, hey, sorry, just have a bit a bit
[00:28:42] of a like you, sorry, I have a little
[00:28:44] bit of a a slip here. Let me quick take
[00:28:46] my notes. Okay, put it down. Let's get
[00:28:47] back to it. And that's fine.
[00:28:49] >> Yeah, I remember who's the guy that
[00:28:50] wrote the book? Um he was like a
[00:28:53] television announcer and he talks about
[00:28:56] the uh he has a video that he does where
[00:28:58] he's bounce trying to bounce the ball
[00:29:00] like Tiger Woods and then hit it and he
[00:29:03] eventually learns how to do it. He said
[00:29:04] there's like myelin sheath and he has to
[00:29:06] build that myelin sheath and uh I don't
[00:29:08] know he would he froze on national TV
[00:29:11] live
[00:29:13] >> and uh he wrote a book I can't remember
[00:29:15] the name of it it's uh it was quite
[00:29:16] interesting because he's talking about
[00:29:18] how you develop these skills right and
[00:29:20] you develop these skills by exercising
[00:29:22] the mind and building that myon chief so
[00:29:24] the pathway gets like uh I guess I don't
[00:29:28] know uh building these pathways into the
[00:29:32] neurons and stuff
[00:29:33] >> well well as I As I always say, practice
[00:29:36] makes permanent uh it makes more
[00:29:39] permanent the habits, the attitudes and
[00:29:41] as to your point that pathways. So that
[00:29:43] becomes that you become becomes better
[00:29:45] and better. Not perfect, but it becomes
[00:29:47] better and better because perfection
[00:29:48] doesn't exist. But the path of
[00:29:49] perfection is practice and more
[00:29:51] permanence. More permanence. Yeah. So
[00:29:54] you mentioned a couple of times about
[00:29:56] leveraging the TEDex. Like can you are
[00:29:58] you able to share like some of your
[00:29:59] techniques of what you did to leverage
[00:30:01] your TEDex?
[00:30:02] >> Yes. I mean the well the general gist is
[00:30:03] that you know whether you launch a book
[00:30:05] or you launch a product or some program
[00:30:07] or technology or a TEDex talk what are
[00:30:10] you doing to leverage it for because
[00:30:11] every single person that I've met that
[00:30:13] wants a TEDex talk wants it for a reason
[00:30:15] right so they want to do more speaking
[00:30:18] they want or get paid to speak they want
[00:30:20] to build their business and get better
[00:30:22] clients or maybe charge higher fees they
[00:30:24] want to be more wellknown or more
[00:30:26] respected they want to build that
[00:30:27] authority and that trust that visibility
[00:30:29] so it's all about take it's all about
[00:30:32] really making sure you do that in the
[00:30:33] right way. So, for example, one of my
[00:30:35] clients actually just a week ago, his
[00:30:36] TEDex video came out. And so, I was
[00:30:38] like, "Look, you got to you got to
[00:30:40] promote this, man. Like, talk about it."
[00:30:42] So, I I said, "Look, do a post where you
[00:30:45] say, "Hey, my TEDex video is coming
[00:30:46] out." And then then and I'd like your
[00:30:50] help to support to build it. And then
[00:30:52] when it does come out, then you tell
[00:30:53] people. I also told them to message
[00:30:56] people. And we put together a plan which
[00:30:58] like a three or four part plan to build
[00:31:00] buzz around the launch of the test video
[00:31:02] so that when the video comes out it gets
[00:31:04] more impressions and more shares and
[00:31:05] more you know awareness because that
[00:31:07] that's really important. Same with a
[00:31:08] book launch right so uh for me that
[00:31:10] that's the big piece and then for the
[00:31:12] most part you know then how do you
[00:31:15] incorporate TEDex into your materials?
[00:31:16] Well you know like as soon as I got my
[00:31:18] first TEDex talk it went into my
[00:31:19] LinkedIn bio. It went into my email
[00:31:21] signature and I refer to it as as many
[00:31:25] times as I can. And so there's there's
[00:31:27] different things you can do to leverage,
[00:31:29] but the general the general gist is, you
[00:31:30] know, take people on that journey with
[00:31:32] you before
[00:31:34] before, during, and after and then keep
[00:31:37] talking about it over and over again.
[00:31:39] >> Do you ever have any like behind the
[00:31:40] scenes footage of of doing like your
[00:31:43] podcasts or your TEDex talks? Absolutely
[00:31:46] that you were able to share.
[00:31:47] >> Yeah, you should always do that. Uh the
[00:31:49] behindthescenes stuff is the best up
[00:31:52] because it shows again the human side of
[00:31:54] things. It's more person vulnerability
[00:31:55] more person. It's more personal. Even if
[00:31:57] it's not vulnerable, it's still
[00:31:58] personal. It's still interesting. It's
[00:32:00] still, you know, something you can you
[00:32:01] can relate to. It could be it can even
[00:32:03] be funny stuff, you know, like maybe
[00:32:04] it's like, "Oh man, you know, I'm so
[00:32:06] hungry. Let me grab a chocolate bar."
[00:32:08] And then you talk about that like it but
[00:32:10] behind the scenes stuff is like to me
[00:32:12] some of the best content you could put
[00:32:14] out there.
[00:32:15] >> I have a room that was my daughter's
[00:32:18] that is full of crap right now. It's a
[00:32:20] storage room for the house. We live in
[00:32:21] Florida. There's no basement or
[00:32:22] anything, so you have nowhere to go with
[00:32:24] anything.
[00:32:24] >> And um I've been meaning I'm going to
[00:32:26] clean it out and make it a podcast
[00:32:27] studio. And I'm like I keep telling
[00:32:28] myself I need to make like a time lapse
[00:32:30] of me cleaning that room out.
[00:32:31] >> Yeah.
[00:32:32] >> Cuz to show people like Yeah. Look at
[00:32:34] what this was. It was a complete
[00:32:35] disaster. And look what it is now when I
[00:32:38] get it all done and fixed up.
[00:32:40] >> You know, it's funny. My kids taught me
[00:32:42] that actually during the pandemic, which
[00:32:43] was we wanted to clean the living room
[00:32:45] here over here, and it was just a
[00:32:47] complete mess. But then my son set up
[00:32:49] the tripod with the the slow time lapse
[00:32:51] thing. And so we cleaned it up over a
[00:32:53] period of like probably like 30 minutes.
[00:32:56] Uh and then [laughter]
[00:32:58] you played they played the whole thing.
[00:32:59] It was like it was like a minute and a
[00:33:01] half at super fast speed and we added
[00:33:04] music to it and it was hilarious. I was
[00:33:06] like this is so cool. And he was so
[00:33:08] motivated to do that. The kids then did
[00:33:10] the same thing for their rooms. Like
[00:33:11] what what a great tool to trick your
[00:33:13] kids into cleaning their room.
[00:33:15] [laughter] I was like this is fantastic.
[00:33:18] Yeah, taking a taking a taking a hint
[00:33:20] from Tom Sawyer. E, [laughter]
[00:33:22] >> you you work with a lot of people and
[00:33:24] you coach them. What do you think? What
[00:33:25] what's like one of the things that a lot
[00:33:28] of people have that are holding them
[00:33:30] back? Is it lack of clarity? Maybe are
[00:33:33] they do they not have a community to to
[00:33:35] build them, you know, build a following?
[00:33:37] Like what what do you think's holding
[00:33:38] [snorts] folks back on their growth?
[00:33:40] There's there's there's a lot of things,
[00:33:41] but I think if I had to pick one
[00:33:44] starting thing is that either they're
[00:33:46] not willing to or they're too afraid or
[00:33:50] they
[00:33:51] >> oh fear
[00:33:51] >> or they have not they have not created
[00:33:55] the the understanding of being honest
[00:34:01] and truthful about where they are and
[00:34:04] where they want to go and what holds
[00:34:06] them back. You know, every time I try to
[00:34:09] coach people who are harder to coach,
[00:34:12] it's because they don't want to
[00:34:13] acknowledge admit that stuff. So, the
[00:34:15] people who are stuck or they hit the
[00:34:17] same ceiling every year or they go
[00:34:19] through the same stuff over and over
[00:34:20] again. It pains me to see this happen.
[00:34:23] You know, I've been somebody who's been
[00:34:25] changing and evolving everything I do
[00:34:27] because, you know, if it's not working
[00:34:28] after a certain 3 to six months, I'm
[00:34:30] going to change things. I'm going to
[00:34:30] look at I'm going to analyze it. I'm I'm
[00:34:33] fully fine with, you know, losing a
[00:34:35] chess game to learn what I what I did
[00:34:36] wrong in the moves and then play another
[00:34:38] chess game after that. But a lot of
[00:34:40] people, they don't even want to get even
[00:34:42] started on that because the starting
[00:34:44] point is really doing a deep dive into
[00:34:46] the mindset piece and most people don't
[00:34:48] want to do that. So they they're too
[00:34:49] afraid. And so, you know, I I'll say,
[00:34:51] "Hey, come on a call." They don't come
[00:34:53] on the call. I'll say, "You know what?
[00:34:54] Here's the here's the path for you.
[00:34:56] Let's move forward. Let's let's let's
[00:34:57] catch up next week." They ghost me. And
[00:35:00] these are people that are my clients,
[00:35:02] not even just people in my network,
[00:35:04] right? So, you know, people don't they
[00:35:07] don't want to do it. They don't want to
[00:35:08] face it. They don't acknowledge it. I'm
[00:35:10] actually doing a um uh a master class
[00:35:12] today with a with a guest expert uh
[00:35:14] later today. It's on it's on attachment
[00:35:16] styles around mindset. And I'm inviting
[00:35:18] people to come by and see what kind of
[00:35:20] attachment styles that we had that get
[00:35:22] us stuck in those same routines over and
[00:35:24] over again. Whatever it is, small or
[00:35:25] big, will people show up? Maybe two or
[00:35:29] three will trickle in, but the hundred
[00:35:32] that saw that post and may be
[00:35:34] interested, they're too afraid to do it.
[00:35:37] So, I think that, you know,
[00:35:39] >> what do you mean by attachment style?
[00:35:40] What does that mean?
[00:35:41] >> We no attachment style. Basically, we
[00:35:43] have a style of mindset that we repeat
[00:35:45] over and over again and we get attached
[00:35:47] to the way we deal with things and we
[00:35:49] think it's the right way or we
[00:35:50] subconsciously are doing it and we don't
[00:35:52] realize it. So for example, one of my
[00:35:55] one of my uh sabotur mindsets is I'm a
[00:35:57] people pleaser, right? So I because I
[00:36:00] like people so much, I don't want to
[00:36:01] upset them. So I don't so I avoid those
[00:36:03] those topics and I have tools to tools
[00:36:06] to you know go do to to manage that. But
[00:36:09] sometimes they're not effective, you
[00:36:11] know, just like for example me me uh me
[00:36:13] doing the maybe self-deprecating humor
[00:36:15] or oh you know what yeah whatever and
[00:36:18] then but then I keep doing that and next
[00:36:19] thing you know that thing isn't done for
[00:36:21] six months. That's an I have an
[00:36:23] attachment style to that mindset thing
[00:36:24] that I'm doing that I'm not really
[00:36:26] fixing. So that's what I'm talking
[00:36:28] about.
[00:36:28] >> That's quite that's this afternoon.
[00:36:30] >> Yeah. And that that's a fascinating
[00:36:31] topic and I think that I see people all
[00:36:34] the time in my network. I mean now that
[00:36:36] I've been doing doing this more deeper
[00:36:38] dive coaching and deeper dive mindset
[00:36:40] stuff for the last at least five plus
[00:36:42] years. You know, I can go to anybody if
[00:36:44] they're willing to. my friends, my
[00:36:47] couple friends, my entrepreneur friends,
[00:36:50] if you really want to know what I think
[00:36:53] of what's holding you back, if you give
[00:36:55] me one hour, I'll be I'll tell you
[00:36:57] everything with tough love, but with
[00:36:59] love and you can either and you know,
[00:37:01] like I've had this before where I've had
[00:37:03] people I've had friends visit me with
[00:37:05] one-on- ones. I've had, you know, a
[00:37:06] friend of mine crying and balling for an
[00:37:08] hour and uh and I gave her what I
[00:37:11] thought she should do. But did she do
[00:37:12] it? No.
[00:37:14] um you know like but I but I'm willing
[00:37:16] to do that for folks but people are you
[00:37:18] know really they're too yeah [snorts]
[00:37:21] they're they're you know the mindset
[00:37:22] piece and the vulnerability piece the
[00:37:24] fear piece the doubt the doubt piece uh
[00:37:28] those things just get in the way of
[00:37:29] everybody
[00:37:30] >> yeah I think I think even some people
[00:37:31] are even fearful even being successful
[00:37:33] would you not agree
[00:37:35] >> I think I've struggled with that myself
[00:37:36] I mean you know I I've seen I've
[00:37:39] literally seen people personally in my
[00:37:41] network who I was close to and then they
[00:37:44] find success and next thing you know I'm
[00:37:46] I'm no longer someone they'll respond
[00:37:48] to. I I don't want to become an a-hole
[00:37:51] if I become successful. So, I've often
[00:37:53] thought that maybe that's something that
[00:37:55] is in my head about becoming super
[00:37:57] wealthy or super famous, whatever it
[00:38:00] might be. So, yeah, I think I think
[00:38:01] there's that that that fear of success
[00:38:04] definitely is something that's pretty
[00:38:05] powerful. I was just having a
[00:38:07] conversation with one of my clients and
[00:38:08] um we were saying that it tends to it
[00:38:12] tends to magnify the underlying
[00:38:14] personalities good or bad.
[00:38:16] >> Yeah, maybe. I mean there are people,
[00:38:18] you know, it's it's if you if you're
[00:38:20] grounded in your values, I mean look,
[00:38:21] most people aren't aware of their
[00:38:23] values, haven't done the deep dive
[00:38:24] personal brand work, so they don't know
[00:38:25] themselves. So when they do have that
[00:38:27] success, maybe they they don't have
[00:38:28] control of it. But if you are clear on
[00:38:30] your values and who what's important to
[00:38:32] you before you have the success and
[00:38:35] you're more grounded then I think you
[00:38:36] have a better chance of you know not uh
[00:38:39] getting warped by it.
[00:38:40] >> So you have a couple of like clubs or
[00:38:43] online networking groups. Can you talk
[00:38:45] about that?
[00:38:45] >> Yeah. So I mean for the most part you
[00:38:47] know I do keynote speaking and workshops
[00:38:49] and virtual training for companies and
[00:38:51] off sites and things like that teams and
[00:38:52] whatnot. uh now when I do that there's
[00:38:55] people there that want to get access to
[00:38:57] me get access to to me and my coaching
[00:38:59] so I invite them to come to my
[00:39:01] membership community similarly I also
[00:39:03] run highlevel coaching programs and some
[00:39:06] people can't afford that they still want
[00:39:07] access to me so then I say go go to the
[00:39:10] the the the foundational level so my my
[00:39:13] my primary community is TEDex mastery
[00:39:15] which is basically teaching people how
[00:39:16] to to how to land a text talk how to
[00:39:18] leverage it for your brand your
[00:39:20] authority your trust speaking business
[00:39:22] whatever you want to do with it. And so
[00:39:24] that's my high level coaching program.
[00:39:25] That's one community that I run. The
[00:39:27] second community is TLB club. And TLB
[00:39:29] club is a membership community for small
[00:39:31] business owners, entrepreneurial people.
[00:39:32] People are trying to do more leaders
[00:39:33] development. Get and they're trying to
[00:39:35] get better at lots of things, but they
[00:39:37] don't they don't have the resources.
[00:39:38] They want coaching. They want support.
[00:39:40] They don't know who to ask where to ask
[00:39:41] questions. They want to get better at
[00:39:43] monetizing their content because most
[00:39:45] people don't do that very well. They
[00:39:46] want to get better at sales because most
[00:39:48] people don't do that very well. And so
[00:39:50] they get access to me and other people
[00:39:51] in our community and other anel experts
[00:39:53] you know once a week for calls and
[00:39:54] master classes and LinkedIn and tech
[00:39:56] clinics we talk about AI we talk about
[00:39:58] lots of things and again like you know
[00:40:00] same same as everything and though both
[00:40:02] those communities that I run and I'm
[00:40:05] part of other communities too like I'm
[00:40:06] part of other I'm part of another
[00:40:08] community that is like there's like 700
[00:40:09] people there but the number of people
[00:40:11] that actually show up to do stuff is
[00:40:13] like you know 50 to 100 in my community
[00:40:15] same thing the even though I have
[00:40:17] smaller numbers in my communities the
[00:40:18] number of who actually show up to stuff
[00:40:20] and do stuff is far less.
[00:40:23] It kind of blows my mind actually. Like
[00:40:25] people have paid at the top high level
[00:40:27] and they still don't do the work. They
[00:40:28] still don't show up. And so it it's it's
[00:40:31] a fascinating concept, but I definitely
[00:40:33] uh you know I I'm happy to serve the
[00:40:35] clients the best I can. And the ones who
[00:40:36] show up, you know, I do the best I can
[00:40:38] to serve them. And the ones that don't,
[00:40:40] I keep saying, "Hey, come come by. Come
[00:40:41] by anytime." But it's it's a I find it
[00:40:44] really fas I thought I thought I was the
[00:40:45] type of guy that, you know, you buy a
[00:40:46] gym membership and then you don't go.
[00:40:48] But this happens at every single level
[00:40:51] of corporate and business. It's actually
[00:40:54] quite uh surprising.
[00:40:56] >> I was I was actually meant I was going
[00:40:57] to say this the gym membership thing.
[00:40:59] People people want the uh is it that
[00:41:01] they want the quick fix and they're not
[00:41:03] willing to do the work or
[00:41:05] >> I don't know. I I I don't I don't I mean
[00:41:07] look if people have disposable income at
[00:41:08] a super high level
[00:41:09] >> I'll buy the gym membership. You go for
[00:41:10] me so I can lose my weight and get
[00:41:12] strength. No, I I I people I think I
[00:41:14] think I think people invest and feel
[00:41:16] good about having access to something.
[00:41:19] >> I mean, I've invested in programs where
[00:41:20] I was I had access to something, but did
[00:41:22] I use it back in the the early days? No,
[00:41:23] I didn't. Now, when I have access, I am
[00:41:25] in there asking tons of questions
[00:41:26] because I know what I want. Um, so it
[00:41:29] really depends.
[00:41:30] >> Oh, so it could be a lack of clarity.
[00:41:33] Maybe back to what you're talking about,
[00:41:34] mindset, having a lack of clarity, not
[00:41:36] really sure what you want. Well, if you
[00:41:38] don't have clarity, then sometimes you
[00:41:39] don't know what uh what what questions
[00:41:41] to ask. But I also do think that, you
[00:41:44] know, we we sign up for lots of things
[00:41:46] and do nothing with them. I also think
[00:41:48] that we have too many things going on.
[00:41:50] If you have a broad range of things
[00:41:51] going on and a broad range of issues,
[00:41:53] you're not going to move on any of them.
[00:41:54] Like that's one of the biggest struggles
[00:41:55] with with the world with with business,
[00:41:58] politics, personal relationships,
[00:42:00] family. We have 10, 20, 30, 50 things we
[00:42:02] want to do that are in our head, but
[00:42:04] when you think of all them at the same
[00:42:06] time, it's impossible to move forward on
[00:42:08] one. So, you know, if I have to think of
[00:42:11] like like let's go back to the bedroom
[00:42:13] thing that you talked about, right?
[00:42:14] That's just one of many things that are
[00:42:16] in your head. So, it's hard to move
[00:42:17] forward on. Now, if you decide we're
[00:42:20] doing this one thing over the weekend,
[00:42:23] >> then it'll probably happen. So for me,
[00:42:25] you know, I I've uh I one of my my
[00:42:28] coaching programs talked about the power
[00:42:29] of focus and there's a there's a thing
[00:42:32] called there's a book called the one
[00:42:33] thing and the philosophy is like you
[00:42:35] know what's the one thing you're trying
[00:42:36] to do and how to do it and that has been
[00:42:38] transformative for me like now it's very
[00:42:40] good when I think about the one thing
[00:42:41] for my day or my month or my year or my
[00:42:44] weekend. It definitely allows me to get
[00:42:48] stuff done. Just just last weekend we
[00:42:50] were in our bedroom. My wife and I were
[00:42:52] trying to go through some old boxes and
[00:42:53] clean up our bedroom. And I and I said,
[00:42:55] "Well, you know what? That box with all
[00:42:57] that those two boxes of all that stuff
[00:42:59] from years ago. I'm going to clear that
[00:43:02] out." And I took the box down and, you
[00:43:05] know, my wife eventually gave up on what
[00:43:07] she was doing. And I was like, I got to
[00:43:08] get this done. Maybe that's part of my
[00:43:10] ADHD hyperfocus, but I was like, I got
[00:43:11] to get this done, man. And over the
[00:43:13] period of like and and I didn't do it
[00:43:15] all at once. I took some breaks,
[00:43:16] whatever I came up, but but the box was
[00:43:18] on the bed and I had to deal with it.
[00:43:20] But within three hours it was gone. Both
[00:43:22] boxes gone. And I'm really big I'm
[00:43:25] really big on the one thing now.
[00:43:27] >> Yeah. Because I'm actually quite
[00:43:29] motivated to get that.
[00:43:30] >> Yeah.
[00:43:30] >> Just cuz it's I'm money motivated
[00:43:33] because I have a a membership to a
[00:43:35] co-working space, but to rent the studio
[00:43:38] there, it doesn't really make sense to
[00:43:40] rent it for one podcast. I try to
[00:43:41] schedule three because if I'm going to
[00:43:43] set up and do it, I might as well do it.
[00:43:45] But it's $300
[00:43:46] >> to rent it for a long enough time. So
[00:43:48] that gets kind of expensive if you're
[00:43:50] doing
[00:43:50] >> well it's like the gym membership. You
[00:43:51] don't want to you don't want to invest
[00:43:52] and then not go and use it,
[00:43:54] >> right? And and right now I'm in my this
[00:43:57] is my bedroom and which drives my wife
[00:43:59] crazy cuz now I got to tear I got to set
[00:44:03] it up and then [clears throat] I got to
[00:44:04] tear it all down because she is not
[00:44:05] going to want to see it in here. She's
[00:44:06] off tomorrow.
[00:44:08] >> So you know if I I've done that before
[00:44:10] where I've left it up there because I've
[00:44:11] had backtoback podcasts and so
[00:44:13] >> the I'm super motivated to get that
[00:44:15] done. We'll see how fast I get it done
[00:44:16] because it'd be nice just to have it set
[00:44:18] up and then I don't have to worry about
[00:44:19] it.
[00:44:20] >> Yeah, absolutely.
[00:44:20] >> I don't have to tear it back down. It's
[00:44:22] just so much extra work to set it up and
[00:44:23] tear down. Set up, tear down. Yeah,
[00:44:25] you're right. There's just uh need to
[00:44:27] focus and do that one thing this weekend
[00:44:28] instead of all the other things that I
[00:44:30] probably have also planned.
[00:44:31] >> Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. And I
[00:44:34] think that going from one thing to
[00:44:36] another one thing to another one thing,
[00:44:38] I I love that cuz I typically was a
[00:44:40] multitasker and I still am. Like I I
[00:44:42] haven't gotten rid of it. But figure out
[00:44:44] what's that one thing I want.
[00:44:45] >> Can you really multitask though? Is it
[00:44:47] really possible? Do you think
[00:44:49] >> you people always say it's impo you
[00:44:50] can't multitask? I disagree. I mean,
[00:44:52] watch me. I'll do it all the time. I'm
[00:44:54] very good at it. But but is it super
[00:44:57] effective? I don't know. I mean, I I
[00:44:59] like to call it integration. So So I'll
[00:45:02] give an old story. You know, when you
[00:45:04] know, when the kids were little and
[00:45:06] grandma and grandpa wanted to call us on
[00:45:07] on Zoom, we would give them a bath while
[00:45:10] having grandma and grandpa call us.
[00:45:11] That's called integration. Now, when
[00:45:13] grandma calls us, we have dinner and
[00:45:15] we're and she's calling us, we it's
[00:45:17] integration. So, if uh I'm on a
[00:45:19] >> Well, that's multitasking. You're having
[00:45:21] dinner.
[00:45:21] >> It is. So, so I call I call it
[00:45:23] integration, right? So, there's there's
[00:45:25] things you can do at the same there's
[00:45:26] things you can do that uh there's a bit
[00:45:28] of multitasking involved.
[00:45:29] >> You can walk and chew gum at the same
[00:45:31] time.
[00:45:31] >> Yeah. A really good thing to do is have
[00:45:33] a uh having a business meeting while
[00:45:36] walking. I love that. Like uh I I
[00:45:38] someone actually did this to me, said,
[00:45:40] "Hey, Bobby, you want to do a business
[00:45:41] call?" Sure. And then we met up and we
[00:45:42] went for a walk versus sitting at a
[00:45:44] cafe. I thought that was great. Get some
[00:45:46] steps in like, you know, I love it.
[00:45:48] >> I can agree with that for sure, 100%.
[00:45:50] That's definitely some some multitasking
[00:45:54] going on there. Integration. Yeah,
[00:45:55] >> integration.
[00:45:56] >> And while we're walking and my wife
[00:45:58] texts me and say, "Hey, can you pick up
[00:45:59] the kid tonight?" And I pick up my phone
[00:46:01] quickly and I just say, "Yeah, no
[00:46:02] problems. Cool."
[00:46:03] >> That's multitasking, man. It's small,
[00:46:05] but I did it while we're walking and
[00:46:07] talking. So, I can do multiple things at
[00:46:09] the same time. You've been online for a
[00:46:11] long time and how do you keep showing up
[00:46:14] like without feeling like you're burning
[00:46:16] out? I mean, you did say you took a
[00:46:17] break back in the mid
[00:46:20] >> well just on Twitter everything else I
[00:46:22] was doing. Um um
[00:46:23] >> how do I keep show
[00:46:24] >> but without becoming like I guess I
[00:46:26] don't know if you want to call it fake
[00:46:28] or performative or
[00:46:30] >> well I mean part of it is
[00:46:32] so to me you know authenticity is about
[00:46:37] what is the genuine intention behind
[00:46:38] what you're doing and what is the manner
[00:46:40] in which you do it. There are people out
[00:46:43] there who are doing things not as
[00:46:45] authentically as they could be because
[00:46:47] of one of those two things or both. And
[00:46:49] so [clears throat] for me like things
[00:46:51] change and shift like so for example
[00:46:52] this year my shift has been uh on
[00:46:55] LinkedIn now I've changed my shift I
[00:46:57] focus more on keynotes and workshops and
[00:47:00] virtual training and then my TEDex stuff
[00:47:02] is entirely mostly through Instagram and
[00:47:04] Facebook ads and funnels and then
[00:47:06] Substack is my primary vehicle for small
[00:47:09] business owners and TLB club. So that
[00:47:10] that's a that that's a shift for me in
[00:47:12] terms of where I spend my time. I used
[00:47:14] to spend all my time doing all three of
[00:47:16] them on LinkedIn which again it's not
[00:47:19] the one thing it loses focus doesn't
[00:47:20] mean I don't talk about other things but
[00:47:22] 80% of my content is around keynote
[00:47:25] speaking and things like that on
[00:47:27] LinkedIn and on substack it's small
[00:47:30] business owners what are their struggles
[00:47:32] and the Facebook Instagram maner focus
[00:47:34] just on the TEDx stuff and building
[00:47:35] authority so you know for me I I um and
[00:47:38] how do I so I'm changing how I appear
[00:47:41] and how I do things but at the same time
[00:47:43] you know like
[00:47:44] Um, I don't worry so much now about, you
[00:47:47] know, the impressions it gets and, you
[00:47:48] know, whether I lost followers or lost,
[00:47:50] you know, didn't get impressions. It's
[00:47:52] more about, you know, is this something
[00:47:53] that's useful and what's the genuine
[00:47:55] intent to what I'm trying
[00:47:56] >> or is it working?
[00:47:57] >> Well, is it working? Is it not working?
[00:47:58] But look, look, even if videos don't do
[00:48:00] well on LinkedIn, I I believe the
[00:48:02] importance of video content, so I'm
[00:48:03] going to keep doing it. Maybe I don't do
[00:48:05] it as much. Like in the early days when
[00:48:06] video came out on LinkedIn, I was doing
[00:48:08] like three per week and they were
[00:48:09] getting thousands of impressions, right?
[00:48:11] But then the algorithm changed and so I
[00:48:13] started doing videos like once a month.
[00:48:15] Now I'm shifting back to you know once a
[00:48:17] week you know so like I move and adjust
[00:48:20] and evolve it. But I also if I take a
[00:48:23] couple of days off who cares. If I do um
[00:48:26] one post every day for seven days in a
[00:48:27] row. Uh if I want to talk about my mom
[00:48:31] great. Um so I don't worry so much about
[00:48:33] it.
[00:48:33] >> That's kind of my attitude. I know. Um
[00:48:37] I've seen podcasters like, "I've
[00:48:39] podcasted for four years and I've posted
[00:48:41] x number of times and haven't missed a
[00:48:43] week." And I'm like,
[00:48:44] >> "Well, don't count on Kirk about not
[00:48:46] missing a week cuz I will miss a week."
[00:48:48] >> Whenever someone says, you know, I have
[00:48:50] started a 365 day content challenge. Are
[00:48:54] you kidding me? You're posting every day
[00:48:55] for that? That's crazy. That stresses me
[00:48:58] out, man. Like, give yourself a break.
[00:49:00] Like, even the 30-day one, 30 days is
[00:49:03] fine. 365 days. I was like, "What are
[00:49:05] you doing?" Like, "Something could
[00:49:06] happen." Like, "What if you have a
[00:49:08] tennis dog? What if you have a book?
[00:49:10] What if a program? What if you have a
[00:49:11] promotion?" Like, "Oh my god, that's a
[00:49:13] huge commitment." I I think 30 days is
[00:49:16] fine to build consistency, but man, like
[00:49:19] some of those things. Yeah, they
[00:49:20] definitely stress me when I when I see
[00:49:21] them.
[00:49:22] >> Yeah, for sure. I mean, I just uh I
[00:49:24] don't know. You mentioned Substack. I
[00:49:25] mean, compared to say LinkedIn or for
[00:49:28] sure Meta, do you feel like Substack's
[00:49:31] kind of a better platform for maybe
[00:49:33] owning your audience versus some of
[00:49:35] these others? Because I mean, LinkedIn,
[00:49:38] they've made it such
[00:49:40] >> I mean, unless you choose to share your
[00:49:42] email or contact information, you're
[00:49:43] usually not going to get it.
[00:49:44] >> Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, look, I takes
[00:49:46] some effort.
[00:49:47] >> As I go through this journey and
[00:49:48] whenever whenever I learn stuff, I share
[00:49:49] it with my networks, the TEDex network,
[00:49:51] the TB club network. So, you know, last
[00:49:53] year I did a whole deep dive into
[00:49:55] Substack, analyzed it, and I realized at
[00:49:57] a certain point this is a place to be
[00:50:00] and and so in August I launched my
[00:50:01] Substack platform and my strategy. I've
[00:50:03] been rejigging it. I just ran launched a
[00:50:05] new strategy just in May now. So,
[00:50:08] Substack is something I talk about. Same
[00:50:10] with the um same with um what's
[00:50:14] Substack. Substack is one of them for
[00:50:16] sure. Uh so, for me, that that's a big
[00:50:18] part of what I'm trying to do. Uh and
[00:50:20] and also like LinkedIn the challenge is
[00:50:22] that you know those newsletters is that
[00:50:23] you know like I have 18,000 subscribers
[00:50:25] on my newsletter but like I don't have
[00:50:27] the emails or the demographics of the
[00:50:28] people are there because you don't know
[00:50:29] who LinkedIn won't share it and I just
[00:50:31] think that's really kind of silly.
[00:50:33] Substack gives you everything and all
[00:50:35] the tools you need to promote what
[00:50:36] you're doing. So I love what what's
[00:50:39] happening there. And then similarly when
[00:50:40] it comes to AI like I I've been
[00:50:42] investing in AI for two years and I
[00:50:43] teach everything that I know in terms of
[00:50:45] how I've shifted from for example chatbt
[00:50:47] to more claude and I tell people why and
[00:50:50] I go through it all by explaining kind
[00:50:51] of my take on things but yes I
[00:50:54] >> yeah I just switched to claude. I just
[00:50:55] switched to cloud.
[00:50:56] >> Yeah it's great. It's it's it's
[00:50:57] definitely better in many many ways. Um
[00:51:00] and so so I would say so I currently am
[00:51:03] recommending Substack to everyone I
[00:51:04] know. I'm and [snorts and clears throat]
[00:51:06] one of my big launches now is I'm going
[00:51:07] to be doing a um a weekly live stream on
[00:51:09] Substack because here's the thing and
[00:51:12] I'll tell you why Substack's great and
[00:51:13] for many reason but one thing I did a
[00:51:15] live stream with somebody there and
[00:51:17] after it was done it automatically gave
[00:51:19] me 15 AI clips AI generated clips of
[00:51:23] what we talked about and
[00:51:25] >> Oh wow on sub yeah because what I used
[00:51:27] to do is I used to do I used to do a
[00:51:28] live stream on reream multi multiream to
[00:51:31] like LinkedIn and Facebook and Twitter
[00:51:32] and and Instagram and whatever and then
[00:51:34] I would put that video in like Opus clip
[00:51:37] and AI tool and then download clips.
[00:51:39] Substack took my live stream as soon as
[00:51:43] over the gaming AI clips AI generated
[00:51:45] clips right away and I could download
[00:51:48] them all to my laptop and with one
[00:51:50] button and then here's where it gets
[00:51:52] killer with the with one button I was
[00:51:55] able to take all 15 of those clips and
[00:51:57] put them on my YouTube channel as 15
[00:52:00] different shorts with with the proper
[00:52:02] titles. You know how much time that
[00:52:04] saved me? That blew my mind.
[00:52:07] >> That's incredible.
[00:52:08] >> No other platform does that.
[00:52:09] >> I guess I'm going to start doing I'm
[00:52:10] going to start doing substack. I mean, I
[00:52:12] got I just created an account recently,
[00:52:13] but I'm not really using
[00:52:15] >> like reream, for example. Yeah. You
[00:52:16] know, they'll say, "Oh, you can download
[00:52:18] some clips we generate for a modest fee.
[00:52:20] Substack gives you everything for free."
[00:52:23] That is amazing.
[00:52:24] >> Wow. Yeah. Cuz we're using um the script
[00:52:27] for that.
[00:52:27] >> Yeah. And I've used all the tools too
[00:52:29] for all my videos, all my live streams,
[00:52:30] everything. But now because Substack's
[00:52:32] doing this to me, I I can still
[00:52:34] multiream, still use Substack, then get
[00:52:36] the videos, and that's fantastic to me.
[00:52:38] >> One of the things I'm looking for, it
[00:52:40] seems like, and I'm guessing, Substack's
[00:52:42] using the transcription of the audio to
[00:52:45] do that. Do you know AI that's using the
[00:52:48] actual video that's able to analyze the
[00:52:51] video and the best clips for video? Like
[00:52:53] if there was no audio,
[00:52:54] >> well, that's that's what Opus Club does,
[00:52:55] right? Opus Club will take the video and
[00:52:57] then, you know, but it it'll it'll it'll
[00:52:59] generate post. That's what I was using
[00:53:00] before. I I would take my live stream
[00:53:02] for example for an hour and then it
[00:53:04] would bas it.
[00:53:04] >> But is it analyzing the video part or
[00:53:06] the audio part?
[00:53:07] >> It's doing both.
[00:53:08] >> So the script is
[00:53:09] >> it's doing both.
[00:53:10] >> Yeah. Like if you loaded a video up that
[00:53:12] had no audio, it would be able to pick
[00:53:15] the best.
[00:53:15] >> Oh, that's interesting. So there's no
[00:53:16] audio. Well, no, but someone's speaking
[00:53:18] though. You can't You mean you can't
[00:53:19] hear them or
[00:53:20] >> No, no speaking.
[00:53:21] >> Oh, that I don't Well, I got another use
[00:53:23] case. This is
[00:53:24] >> we're doing a video with no way that you
[00:53:25] can't hear like
[00:53:27] >> Well, it's it's um we're going to have
[00:53:29] some audio, but it's going to be more
[00:53:31] ASMR. And so what it is is for a a shoe
[00:53:35] cobbler. And so there's no talking.
[00:53:37] >> It's just um
[00:53:38] >> that I don't know about
[00:53:40] >> repairing a shoe
[00:53:40] >> that I don't know about. I'm sure there
[00:53:42] is one out there, but I mean, you know,
[00:53:43] most feet people don't do that kind of
[00:53:44] videos, so not sure. Yeah, they well he
[00:53:47] managed to do one video of them tearing
[00:53:49] off a soul from a Air Jordan and it
[00:53:52] generated three million plus views.
[00:53:55] >> So he's like winning a winning a uh to
[00:53:57] duplicate that. So but having find
[00:54:00] trying to find that video of a shoe
[00:54:03] repair like what do you what do you do?
[00:54:04] You know, how do you find it? I'm just
[00:54:06] curious about your TEDex experience.
[00:54:08] Like you've done five.
[00:54:09] >> Yeah.
[00:54:10] >> Is there one that like stands out from
[00:54:14] the rest of those? stands off in the
[00:54:16] restaurant. That's a tough question. I
[00:54:18] mean, I think the first one's always the
[00:54:20] your baby, right? So, I think I still
[00:54:22] have fondness for the first one, which
[00:54:24] was about how to create deep authentic
[00:54:26] connection with people. And I talked
[00:54:28] about the five C's of connection. And I
[00:54:30] thought that was really a cool topic,
[00:54:32] but then, you know, the the fifth one um
[00:54:35] was about um I talked about 20 second
[00:54:39] hugs, which was kind of an interesting
[00:54:40] interesting take.
[00:54:42] >> Oh, really? Because I was and my my uh
[00:54:44] my advice to the audience was like when
[00:54:46] do you hug someone for 20 seconds? Like
[00:54:48] you people talk about 3 seconds or
[00:54:50] 6second hugs. When do you hug someone
[00:54:52] for 20 seconds and they're not your kids
[00:54:55] or family members and they're not your
[00:54:56] intimate partners? When does that
[00:54:57] happen?
[00:54:58] >> And I they had to think about it.
[00:54:59] >> It happens.
[00:55:00] >> They had to think about it and it's like
[00:55:00] well it's tragedy. Oh, okay. And then I
[00:55:03] talked to maybe
[00:55:04] >> well I mean the common way to when you
[00:55:06] would hug someone that you don't know
[00:55:08] that like don't know that well they're
[00:55:09] not your intimate partner. they're not
[00:55:11] your kids or your family members. 20
[00:55:13] seconds or longer, that's a long, long
[00:55:15] hug. It's usually during crisis or
[00:55:16] tragedy because people need some sort of
[00:55:18] support. And so, um, I, you know, and
[00:55:22] the number of people I've done that
[00:55:22] with, I can count my fingers because
[00:55:24] it's so rare.
[00:55:25] >> And so, so, so I talked about that and,
[00:55:28] uh, that TEDx talk was great because
[00:55:30] that one actually got featured by
[00:55:31] TED.com, which was great,
[00:55:33] >> uh, for my for my brand.
[00:55:35] >> So, that's that's that one I also like.
[00:55:36] I even did a whole demonstration of
[00:55:38] different hug types, which is kind of
[00:55:39] fun. So, so that was a fun one. But, um,
[00:55:42] yeah, in fact, so the first one and the
[00:55:44] fifth one would be great. And then I
[00:55:46] have another one that in my back pocket
[00:55:48] that I really want to do uh someday, but
[00:55:50] you know, like I'm not not rushing to do
[00:55:51] it. Maybe when I'm much older.
[00:55:53] >> Okay. Yeah. I have Can I tell you about
[00:55:55] my 20 second hug story?
[00:55:58] >> So, I took a it was a major road trip
[00:56:01] for me. Took my son out to New Mexico,
[00:56:03] caught a train, came to St. Louis bought
[00:56:05] a motorcycle and I'm driving home on the
[00:56:08] motorcycle and I'm like pulling in this
[00:56:10] filling station like 2:00 a.m. in the
[00:56:12] morning trying to get to Florida and
[00:56:14] this guy's like, "You want a coffee?
[00:56:15] I'll buy you a coffee." Or actually
[00:56:17] wanted to buy me a beer. I'm like,
[00:56:18] "Dude, it's 2 a.m. in the morning and
[00:56:19] I'm on a motorcycle. I don't think I
[00:56:21] need a beer." [laughter]
[00:56:23] So, we still bought me a coffee and we
[00:56:25] got to talking and he just he broke down
[00:56:28] in front of me. He was having a crisis
[00:56:30] and I'm like, "Here, you look like you
[00:56:31] need a hug. You need a hug?" He's like,
[00:56:32] "Yeah." So, I gave him a hug and he he
[00:56:35] tried to like break away for a second. I
[00:56:36] go, "No, you need a longer hug than
[00:56:37] that." [laughter]
[00:56:38] >> Yeah.
[00:56:39] >> So, I I think I counted I think to 20 or
[00:56:41] 30 seconds. You know, 20 seconds is a
[00:56:43] long time.
[00:56:44] >> Like I said,
[00:56:44] >> it really like in that moment
[00:56:46] >> and that's
[00:56:47] >> it's really long.
[00:56:48] >> That's what I mean. That's what that's
[00:56:49] what I mean by crisis, tragedy, uh huge
[00:56:52] emotional upheaval.
[00:56:53] >> I still don't know what he was going
[00:56:53] through, but he obviously was going
[00:56:55] through.
[00:56:55] >> Absolutely. That's what they need.
[00:56:56] Absolutely.
[00:56:57] >> And my wife's like, "You just hug this
[00:56:58] guy, this complete stranger." And I'm
[00:56:59] like, "Yeah, he kind of needed it." He's
[00:57:02] like, "You're the only person I know
[00:57:03] that would do that." Well, I know too.
[00:57:04] >> Yeah. [laughter]
[00:57:05] >> You would have done that, too, right?
[00:57:06] >> Absolutely. When people need it. Yeah,
[00:57:08] man.
[00:57:08] >> Yeah. It's just amazing. I mean, doesn't
[00:57:10] it um What is it? I'm sure you covered
[00:57:12] this in your talks. So, everybody need
[00:57:14] to watch this talk. It takes so many
[00:57:15] seconds to have like the chemical
[00:57:17] reaction or something. Isn't there a
[00:57:19] chemical reaction that happens?
[00:57:20] >> Yeah, there is. There's that. So, I went
[00:57:22] through the science of it too and
[00:57:23] mentioned the different aspects. I mean,
[00:57:24] there's a very common uh thing called um
[00:57:27] with orphans and people who are widowed.
[00:57:30] It's called skin starvation because they
[00:57:32] don't have anyone touching them and so
[00:57:35] they need that touch. That's why a lot
[00:57:37] of orphans like to be held for a long
[00:57:40] period of time and because they're
[00:57:41] they're missing that that physical touch
[00:57:43] and there is there is science around
[00:57:44] that for sure.
[00:57:45] >> Do they suffer from that in adulthood?
[00:57:47] Does that like say they get adopted and
[00:57:49] now they have a very loving family when
[00:57:51] they're like say 10 years old or
[00:57:52] something?
[00:57:52] >> Yeah. Absolutely impacts the first 10
[00:57:55] years of all that starvation and then
[00:57:56] they have a very loving touching family.
[00:57:58] Do they still have that starvation or do
[00:58:00] you break free of that?
[00:58:01] >> Well, I think I think every single thing
[00:58:03] like if they if if if they had 10 years
[00:58:06] of not having
[00:58:07] >> that's a long time those first years are
[00:58:09] very formative.
[00:58:10] >> So having a family for another 10 years
[00:58:12] and that's great but you know you're
[00:58:13] still going to have those imp
[00:58:15] >> just doesn't make up for It helps. But
[00:58:17] yeah, it's always going to be something
[00:58:18] that you you deal with. And same with
[00:58:20] people who are widowed like people
[00:58:21] especially people are widowed early uh
[00:58:23] they start to really miss that uh that
[00:58:25] that touch and it's it affects their
[00:58:27] relationships. It affects their behavior
[00:58:29] and their mindset.
[00:58:29] >> So I need to give mom more hugs
[00:58:31] >> always. Yeah. Exactly.
[00:58:32] >> What do you think people like
[00:58:34] entrepreneurs or whatever business
[00:58:36] people what what do you think they are
[00:58:38] chasing that they need to kind of stop
[00:58:39] chasing? I would say that they need to
[00:58:41] stop chasing the social media likes,
[00:58:45] impressions of validation is number one.
[00:58:48] Number two, I think they need need to
[00:58:50] stop chasing the the million-doll dream
[00:58:53] type thing that they have because look,
[00:58:56] there are there are people who make
[00:58:58] 70,000 a year who are super happy and
[00:59:01] there are people making 10 million a
[00:59:02] year and are super miserable. And so you
[00:59:05] have to find a way to be happy and
[00:59:06] grounded no matter where you are in your
[00:59:08] life. And so, yes, we all want to grow
[00:59:11] our business and we all want to, you
[00:59:12] know, get to that that level, but if you
[00:59:16] get to that level, but then you're still
[00:59:17] unhappy with things or whatever, you're
[00:59:19] not going to be satisfied. So, I think
[00:59:21] chasing that likes and social media
[00:59:23] validation, which I think is going to be
[00:59:24] a huge problem for a lot of people,
[00:59:25] especially younger people as they grow
[00:59:26] up. And then I think for and then
[00:59:28] chasing that whole that that money thing
[00:59:32] uh to like not not that I'm saying it's
[00:59:34] bad, but to a certain extent it gets be
[00:59:36] it gets to be a bit too much. you start
[00:59:38] to lose sight of what's really really
[00:59:39] important.
[00:59:40] >> I guess what it what I'm reading from
[00:59:41] that what my response would be is that
[00:59:44] you're chasing it so hard you're not
[00:59:45] actually enjoying the moment.
[00:59:47] >> Yeah.
[00:59:48] >> You're like you're in this chase and
[00:59:50] that that's your moment yet life around
[00:59:53] you is still happening and you're
[00:59:54] missing.
[00:59:54] >> Yeah. It's the same people who get who
[00:59:56] are stuck in corporate like they it's
[00:59:57] not fun anymore like they're just you
[00:59:59] know like I remember talking to a guy
[01:00:00] who was in corporate and he said he says
[01:00:02] he said the reason he decided to finally
[01:00:04] leave which it's hard for people to
[01:00:06] leave corporate life uh and to have more
[01:00:08] autonomy and freedom with being an
[01:00:09] entrepreneur like I I do but he said he
[01:00:11] was in a meeting for three hours and
[01:00:12] they talked about you know 15 cents to
[01:00:15] the dollar on margins with Walmart and
[01:00:18] Costco and I was like he was like is
[01:00:20] this my life? I spent three hours doing
[01:00:22] this. I'm like, "Yeah, man. I feel you.
[01:00:24] You should leave." And he did. He
[01:00:26] eventually left and opened up a coffee
[01:00:28] shop. And that's great. Now, now he's
[01:00:30] much happier. So, I think that that
[01:00:32] chase of of that, the status, the money,
[01:00:35] all that kind of stuff, it's it's it's
[01:00:38] it's a chase that unless you're happy
[01:00:40] with the things that really matter to
[01:00:42] you, and again, you have to be willing
[01:00:44] to be honest and do a deep dive of what
[01:00:46] those things are, um, you're going to no
[01:00:49] matter where you go, you're not going to
[01:00:50] be as fulfilled,
[01:00:51] >> right? Yeah. Um, well, that's kind of
[01:00:54] the end of my note cards.
[01:00:56] >> Okay. [laughter]
[01:00:57] >> You have anything to cover that I didn't
[01:00:59] cover already?
[01:01:00] >> No. No. I mean, I wasn't even sure how
[01:01:01] long you wanted to go, so I mean, this
[01:01:03] has been uh
[01:01:04] >> Well, we just kind of go I I um Yeah, I
[01:01:08] don't know what time we how long Julie
[01:01:09] booked us for. Um, so I'll just kind of
[01:01:12] get into my uh my little ad card here.
[01:01:16] So, if you're actually listening to the
[01:01:18] full podcast, so you just got here and
[01:01:20] you're watching clips. Here's the deal.
[01:01:22] And uh we'll get Bobby's take on this.
[01:01:25] Send a postcard or letter to the show.
[01:01:27] Write your name and where you're
[01:01:28] listening from and we'll send you a free
[01:01:29] bar of my soap. So, you mail it to Vibe
[01:01:31] Your Vibe, 6586 Hypoxal Road, number 101
[01:01:34] Lakeward, Florida, 33467.
[01:01:37] Supplies are limited. And I'm making it
[01:01:39] very sticky. I know there's a lot of
[01:01:41] friction there. You got to actually get
[01:01:43] a card, put a stamp on it, mail it. But
[01:01:46] the soap's $16 a bar and I got to pay
[01:01:48] postage. So, I'm making it sticky on
[01:01:50] purpose.
[01:01:51] >> And if I may, if I may, can I add
[01:01:53] something here or No, you finish finish
[01:01:54] your thing.
[01:01:54] >> Sure. Go ahead. No, go ahead.
[01:01:55] >> So, for all the Gen Z and Gen Alpha
[01:01:58] people, what what a stamp is is that you
[01:02:01] take uh any sort of piece of paper and
[01:02:04] you can basically have it sent to
[01:02:05] somebody by this thing called snail
[01:02:07] mail. Now, if you want to make this
[01:02:08] happen for yourself, what you do, the
[01:02:10] easiest thing for you is I don't want to
[01:02:11] make too complicated. Take whatever you
[01:02:13] got, go to your local post office and
[01:02:15] ask them how to do it and they'll
[01:02:17] they'll do it for you.
[01:02:19] >> Yeah, just make sure you send your
[01:02:21] address.
[01:02:21] >> That's a tip for you. That's one to go
[01:02:22] on.
[01:02:23] >> Yeah, that's a good one. Um, so if you
[01:02:25] enjoyed this conversation, follow the
[01:02:27] show vibevibe.com on all the different
[01:02:29] platforms. Uh, follow and then I need
[01:02:32] Oh, I got to go back to need to call out
[01:02:34] for Bobby. So, we got Bobby LinkedIn at
[01:02:38] Bobby Umar, which is linkedin.com/bbyar.
[01:02:43] We've got discoveryoupersonal brand,
[01:02:45] which is dypb.ca.
[01:02:49] And then we got the thought leadership
[01:02:51] branding club, which is
[01:02:52] www.thoughtleershipbranding.com.
[01:02:56] And what did I miss? I missed
[01:02:58] >> rayalen.com.
[01:03:00] Ray Ray Allen.com. So, we got the I
[01:03:02] don't have the website.
[01:03:03] >> It's ray
[01:03:04] >> Oh, there it is. Ray Allen r a ll an.com
[01:03:09] just like Well, I think it's actually uh
[01:03:11] like the player
[01:03:12] >> kind of he he's r a y but
[01:03:14] >> he's got a r a y but ra a
[01:03:16] >> r he's actually part of my first name.
[01:03:18] My first name's Rahan. That's what it
[01:03:19] comes from.
[01:03:20] >> So So my handle across all platforms
[01:03:23] link uh sorry Twitter, Instagram, all
[01:03:25] that kind of stuff.
[01:03:26] >> We were right at the end though. So we
[01:03:27] made it to the end. There we go. Now
[01:03:28] you're blinking. So um and by the way
[01:03:30] I'm going to give you a bar soap. So I
[01:03:33] need an address. So, if you can email
[01:03:35] that to me, I'll send you a bar of soap.
[01:03:37] And we've got uh yeah, I just got a
[01:03:38] fresh batch out. So, we're going to we
[01:03:40] owe a few bars [music] to come.
[01:03:47] [music]